Lead By Example

“Lead by example” is simple — but it often fails in application. One area it fails consistently is parenting. Kids follow what other people do. Not just parents and siblings — other people. If you’re not leading by example, someone else will. Children will copy behavior they see as cool, entertaining, or interesting. Sometimes that’s bad behavior. Unless you’re setting the example to not do those things, those behaviors may be adopted.

Key Takeaways

• Kids copy the people they spend time with — including non‑family.
• Your influence rises when your kids like, respect, and admire you.
• Children absorb your mindset, not just your actions — get your head right.
• Fitness and food choices are core examples that ripple into many habits.
• “Do as I say, not as I do” doesn’t work; live the standard.

Who Kids Copy — And Why It Matters

Children mimic those around them. You won’t be with them all the time — divorce, long hours, school, or activities. That’s why, when you are with them, your example must be consistent and clear. If you don’t set the standard, someone else will, intentionally or not.

Respect And Admiration Increase Influence

If your kids like, respect, and admire you, they’re more likely to mimic you. Love is innate; like and respect are earned. That takes effort, patience, compassion, reasoning, and fair treatment. The better they perceive you and your treatment of them, the more influence you’ll have on their behavior.

Mindset Is Contagious

Leading by example isn’t only physical. Kids pick up your mentality: confidence, authority, sadness, worry, anger, joy, friendliness. Get your mental house in order. Identify traits you need to improve and the traits you want your kids to inherit — then model them. Calm and confident parents tend to raise calm and confident kids.

Fitness And Food Choices

If you’re overweight, there are likely multiple areas you’re not modeling well: exercise, play, eating, discipline, productivity, prioritization. Kids often “exercise” through play — if you can’t play with them, it’s easy for them to miss movement. If you don’t prioritize health, neither will they. If you can’t discipline yourself to eat well, they won’t either. If you tried to lose weight and quit, you modeled quitting.

If your kids are overweight, it’s at least partly your responsibility.

Model fitness and capability. Practice portion control and real food. Show them what strong, healthy habits look like day to day.

“Do As I Say” Is Nonsense

“Do as I say, not as I do” is a cop‑out. You’re asking kids to be better than you while refusing to follow your own guidance. You don’t need a new slogan — you need alignment. When your words and actions match, kids will follow without the speech.

Generational Greatness Starts With Example

It’s on us to give our kids a better life. The tools aren’t lectures — they’re lived habits that compound over years and pass to their kids. Lead by example. If you don’t, someone else will.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I build respect without being a pushover?

Set clear boundaries, explain the why in age‑appropriate terms, enforce consequences calmly, and consistently keep your own promises.

What if I’m rebuilding my own habits?

Be honest about the change. Start small, show consistent action, and invite them to join you (walks, cooking, chores, play).

How do I counter bad outside influences?

Increase quality time, curate environments (friends, media, activities), and model alternatives that are fun, challenging, and meaningful.

How do I keep this sustainable?

Choose “everyday doable” routines: family dinners, walks, weekend sports, shared chores — small rhythms beat sporadic lectures.